When Schools Aren't Safe: How School Threats Affect Our Minds & Bodies

Yesterday, I received a notification that no parent wants to get: my son’s school had been evacuated due to a threat. Thankfully, everyone was safe. 

Still, my heart sank. I’ve been trying not to dwell on the underlying anxiety that is still lingering after the latest school shooting in Georgia, but this brought it front and center. 

As a parent, the fear of school shootings is an all-too-common stressor.

My body reacted, as it is designed to do, going into fight-or-flight mode—a heightened state of alertness and stress, even though there was nothing for me to physically act on. I felt my nervous system kick into overdrive, heightening my awareness and flooding me with hormones. 

In moments like this, the nervous system’s stress response kicks in automatically. Our bodies are wired to react to perceived danger, and even in non-life-threatening situations, our physiology doesn’t distinguish between a real, immediate threat and one we can’t actively address. 

This stress response—meant to prepare us for survival—remains in the body unless we move it through or process it out. I quickly recognized there was nothing for me to act on in the moment, even though my body desperately wanted to. 

But here’s the thing: even though the immediate threat was over, the stress response doesn't just fade. It sits in the body, unresolved, until we intentionally move it through or release it.

I am immensely grateful to understand how stress affects my body and to have the tools to manage it—not just for myself but also for my children. Thanks to my ongoing focus on nervous system regulation, I’m prepared to support both of us in navigating this difficult experience. 

How Stress Builds in the Nervous System

When we experience stress, our bodies respond by releasing cortisol and adrenaline, hormones designed to prepare us for action. In the face of danger, this is crucial; however, when there’s no immediate action to take—like in the case of receiving frightening news about our children’s safety—the stress lingers. 

This unexpended energy accumulates in the body, leading to long-term effects such as burnout, anxiety, and emotional fatigue.

In children, these stress responses can manifest as emotional outbursts, withdrawal, or physical symptoms like stomachaches. When parents and caregivers don’t know how to help process these emotions, it’s easy for the stress to compound, leading to dysregulated nervous systems in both children and adults.

Here’s how you can recognize if you, your children, or loved ones may be experiencing nervous system dysregulation:

• Constant fatigue or burnout.
• Feeling easily triggered or overwhelmed by minor stressors.
• Physical symptoms like headaches, tension, or digestive issues.
• Emotional numbness or, conversely, constant hypervigilance.
• Difficulty focusing or feeling emotionally disconnected.

Supporting Ourselves and Our Children

It’s important to understand that these reactions are normal—our bodies are doing exactly what they were designed to do. But in today’s world, we often need additional tools to help process stress effectively.

We have the ability to tap into our inner intelligence to support ourselves and our children through these challenging experiences. By understanding our nervous system’s needs and working to reset it, we can help prevent the long-term consequences of chronic stress. 

Beyond this, as a collective, we have the wisdom to identify creative, compassionate, and courageous solutions to the bigger problem we’re facing like how to keep our children safe in a world where school shootings and threats are becoming far too common.

Why I’m Sharing This

These moments, when we feel helpless as parents, are incredibly hard to process. But the truth is, I’m lucky. I know how to deal with the stress. I’ve spent time learning how the nervous system works and developing tools to manage it—for myself and for my kids. 

Last night, I sat with my son to help him understand and process what happened. We walked through communicating with and listening to each of his intelligences - head, heart, & gut. 

• HEAD: We allowed his brain to truly understand what had and happened and why. We discussed why the threat might have happened so he could understand it better. We addressed what he could do to be prepared in the future if something did happen. 
• HEART: We spent time allowing him to experience his emotions giving him space to feel and express them. We also discussed how other children might feel or express their emotions the next day and how he might have compassion for them. 
• GUT: We felt into his body to sense what stress, or fear might still be lingering in it. Acknowledging and recognizing that situations like this naturally create some fear for our safety and shows our body is doing its job! Then we moved our bodies using some special exercises, did some balanced breathing, and he put on his Apollo Neuro to regulate his nervous system before bed.

I can't tell you how grateful I am to be in a position and have this framework to support my son. And I'm only able to do that because I’ve also taken care of my own nervous system.

But so many parents out there don’t have this toolkit. In our modern world, stress continues to build up in our bodies as we move from one challenge to the next, without the natural outlets for release that our ancestors had—like physical movement for survival.

The stress builds and builds, especially in today’s world, where instead of hunting for food or running from predators, we’re sitting at desks or glued to screens which keeps our nervous systems in a constant state of dysregulation. 

Our bodies were not designed for the lives we live now.

How Our Nervous System Impacts Those Around Us, Especially Our Children

Our nervous system doesn’t just affect our own well-being; it also plays a powerful, often unconscious role in how we influence the people around us, especially our children. Through a process known as co-regulation, our nervous system communicates nonverbally with others, affecting their emotional and physiological states.

The science behind this lies in the autonomic nervous system (ANS) and mirror neurons. The ANS governs our body’s involuntary responses, such as heart rate, digestion, and stress reactions. When we're calm, our parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" state) helps regulate the bodies around us, including our children. However, when we are stressed or anxious, our sympathetic nervous system (the "fight or flight" state) can unconsciously trigger a similar response in others.

Mirror neurons, located in the brain, play a role in this by "mirroring" the emotional and physical states of those we are close to. When a parent is calm and grounded, their child’s nervous system is more likely to mirror that state, fostering feelings of safety and stability. Conversely, if a parent is stressed or anxious, their child is likely to absorb that tension and experience heightened stress themselves.

This constant, unconscious exchange of emotional signals is why regulating our own nervous system is so important. By managing our stress, we not only improve our own health but also create a calmer, more supportive environment for those around us, particularly our children, who depend on us to help regulate their own emotions and responses to stress.

Are You Struggling?

Maybe you’ve noticed some of these signs that your nervous system is dysregulated:

Physical Signs:

1. Chronic fatigue or exhaustion
2. Sleep disturbances (insomnia or frequent waking)
3. Muscle tension or chronic pain (e.g., headaches, back pain)
4. Digestive issues (IBS, bloating, nausea)
5. Heart palpitations or irregular heartbeat
6. Frequent illness (weakened immune system)
7. Rapid, shallow breathing or difficulty breathing

Emotional Signs:

1. Increased anxiety or constant worry
2. Mood swings (feeling emotionally unstable)
3. Overwhelm or inability to cope with stress
4. Depression or feelings of hopelessness
5. Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

Behavioral Signs:

1. Hypervigilance (always "on edge")
2. Impulsivity or difficulty regulating emotions
3. Restlessness or difficulty relaxing
4. Avoidance behaviors (avoiding certain places or people due to stress)
5. Difficulty focusing or concentrating
6. Overworking or inability to rest

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Our bodies are reacting to the constant stress of modern life, and it’s easy for that stress to become overwhelming if we don’t know how to process it.

We Have the Tools to Support Our Kids (and Ourselves)

The good news is we can learn to manage this. 

Our bodies are smart—they’re trying to protect us. We just need to learn how to guide that protection in a way that supports our well-being. 

This is especially important for our children. They’re growing up in a world where school threats and shootings are all too real. If we don’t teach them how to process their stress, it will keep building, just like it does for us.

We have the inner intelligence to support our kids through these difficult experiences. 

As a community, we have the collective wisdom to come up with creative, compassionate, and courageous solutions to this heartbreaking challenge.

Final Thoughts

The stress of worrying about our children's safety, particularly in schools, is real and ever-present. But we don’t have to carry this burden in our bodies forever.

By learning how to regulate our nervous systems, we can better support our families, communities, and ourselves. Let's work together to create environments where we are both emotionally equipped and physically resilient to face the challenges of today’s world.

For the parents and leaders out there, who are grappling with the stress and fear brought on by these uncertain times—and for those who wish they knew how to better navigate this for themselves and their children—I’m going to be offering a special six-week Nervous System Reset & Recharge Program.

If you want to break free from the cycle of stress and fear, and learn how to support both yourself and your children through these emotionally turbulent times, this program can be the first step toward healing and empowerment.

If you’re interested our Nervous System Reset Program, please reach out to me for more details. Let’s equip ourselves and our children with the tools to face the world with confidence, resilience, and calm.