Navigating the Election Results & Finding Our Way to Fulfillment (Eliminating Extremism Part 2)

Last week, after I published my article on extremism, I found myself further reflecting on the challenges we are navigating in today's world—a world filled with intensity, division, and frequent misunderstanding.

I am sure I am not the only one who has felt the weight of these emotions —the desire to express what matters most to us, yet fearing that it might be misinterpreted, met with hostility, or even outright attack.

While most people reacted well, some misunderstood my meaning, and a few were even triggered. After engaging in discussion and reflecting further, I wanted to add a bit more about what I've discovered around the importance of moderation in a time when emotions and opinions can feel like a battleground. 

A Personal Story

In a discussion about my article, I was reminded of my grandfather's, Rev. John H. Tietjen's, legacy and experience in the 1970s around the Lutheran Church. 

A brief history...

My grandfather, as president of Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, found himself at the center of a religious divide. At the heart of the controversy was a disagreement over interpretations of the bible. My grandfather chose to support faculty members and the use of historical-critical methods in biblical interpretation. Ultimately, this decision led to his suspension and exile from the church, the creation of a Seminary in Exile, and the creation of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (a combination of three other Lutheran bodies into one). 

What's most relevant about this story was the contentious atmosphere he navigated while he chose to stand for his principles and beliefs in spite of the consequences to himself and his family. Underlying his beliefs, was a commitment to a balanced theological perspective and seeking unity within the Lutheran church and its traditions. 

I was blessed to grow up with my grandfather as a close mentor and advisor to me for many years. I have fond memories of family dinners debating political topics with him and my extended family. These discussions while often high in emotion never escalated to damaging relationships beyond repair. 

He always emphasized the importance of healthy debate, learning from those with different perspectives and experiences, and relying on our own inner wisdom (faith or relationship with God) for guidance and direction rather than an institution or leader.

I shared this story because:

I fundamentally believe there is more to be gained by discussing our differences in healthy dialogue and debate than avoiding those with whom we disagree. 

Those who challenged my first article caused me to dive deeper into my own awareness, insights, and beliefs. They caused me to expand and further develop my perspective. 

For this, I am incredibly appreciative, even if we disagree on whether my first article was valid or merely unnecessary "psychobabble." We must find a way forward, that allows us to engage with one another in order to further our own understanding and perspectives.

The True Meaning of Moderation

We need to ensure we don't confuse moderation with neutrality, indifference, apathy, or even inaction. Moderation is not the opposite of extremism; it is the art of finding balance and common ground amidst diversity and difference. 

True moderation is the desire to take action by coming towards, rather than moving away from, one another to find a path forward together. 

It involves working together to seek common ground, so as not to displace, ignore, or isolate the opinions or perspectives of particular people.

Moderation is Not Agreement

Moderation does not mean we will always agree or even come to consensus. Nor does it imply that we will not feel or express strong emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration. Instead, moderation is about our approach involving restraint, self-control, and intentional measured engagement. 

Moderation creates clarity and coherence rather than chaos and confusion.

Empathy for Emotions

Today we must lead with empathy, compassion, and understanding for everyone impacted.

Emotions are running high, and these emotional reactions can either contribute to chaos or inspire curious, compassionate communications.

After I cast my vote and went back to my car to drive home, I was struck by a wave of unanticipated emotions. In the past, I might have attempted to suppress, deny, or ignore my emotions to carry on with my day. 

Instead, I allowed myself to feel and express them in order to move through them.

Emotions are energy in motion; if we do not express them, the energy will become trapped in our bodies. 

This energy will ultimately need to be released and will explode out of us usually when least anticipated and towards those we love most.

We must not bury these emotions nor allow them to overwhelm us into unhealthy actions or words. Instead, we must process them, preferably in a space, where we can be witnessed and met with compassion.

Navigating Election Aftermath 

For better or worse, this political season will be coming to an end today. While we likely won’t know the outcome right away, we will all be faced with how to move forward.

We each have free will over how we navigate the days ahead. We are free to find and choose the wisest path forward for all of us. 

I think what I fear most (and is likely shared by others) is which path most people will choose. 

• Whether we choose a path of violence, viciousness, and a ruthless pursuit of one’s own agenda and perspectives "at all costs" or whether we navigate the coming months with creativity, compassion, and courage.
• Whether we will experience increasingly more extreme actions in response to the results or whether there is a path forward that honors all human beings as valuable members of our community. 
• A path that allows families, once again, to communicate with love and curiosity without the cloud of apprehension hanging over every interaction. 
• A path that allows us to avoid feeling unsafe or fearful in our workplace or community. 
• A path that allows us to disagree on some topics, while also supporting and engaging respectfully with one another.

Eliminating an Enemy Mindset 

I don't mean eliminating the minds of our enemies. I mean eliminating the mindset that other human beings are our enemies. If we peel back the months of rhetoric, slogans, and propaganda, underneath it all, we are all real human beings. 

We are human beings, living our lives in the best way we know how. 

We must recognize that everyone's thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions come from their unique experiences and environments. We've all made a choice in this election based upon our unique perspective. That choice alone does not need to forever isolate us from those who made a different choice. 

Most people are not unfeeling sociopaths or psychopaths, but caring humans. Most of us are just people who have been persuaded by powerful messages, for better or worse.

Finding Feelings of Fulfillment

Most of us just want to live fulfilling and meaningful lives. We want to love our families, to enjoy life's moments, to contribute to the world with our talents, to faithfully worship our God or Gods, and to experience all we can while on this earth.

Don’t we all want to live a fulfilling life?

Of course, we do. So why don’t we? What prevents us?

Just look at the word for a clue about achieving the result. Fulfilling contains "full" and "fill." A feeling that our lives are full and filled in a positive way. 

• Fulfilling means satisfying or rewarding; providing happiness or satisfaction.
• Fulfillment is the act of satisfying or completing something, a sense of deep satisfaction or contentment. 

To achieve fulfillment, we must neither feel a deficit nor become overwhelmed. 

Fulfillment is finding our way back to balance, completeness and coherence.

Which brings us full circle back to moderation. For by definition, if we stay polarized to extremes, we will live our lives, always in a deficit never fully fulfilled. Which is exactly what those in power or those who desire to spread extremist messages want. They need you to be disgruntled and discontent so that they can persuade you of their point of view. So, they can coerce you into complying and following their lead.

If we can access, align, and apply our own intelligence in pursuit of our personal purpose and passion, we will undoubtedly discover our own completeness and coherence.

If we purposely and respectfully engage with one another. If we focus on pursuing our purpose and passions rather than focusing on division and disagreement. If we use our wisdom to guide our discussions and relationships. If we choose to come together rather than be divided apart. If we choose to offer compassion and empathy instead of judgement, blame, and shame. If we actively reject attempts to divide us... 

We will find our way forward together. 

Investing in Reflection

How can we contribute to a world that honors our shared humanity rather than succumbing to a path that further divides us?

As we look to the days ahead, I encourage everyone to take this time to reflect on what you truly feel, really know, and deeply need. Acknowledge your inner intelligence and wisdom and allow it to guide you in your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Intentionally engage your intelligences—head, heart, and gut—and bring them into their highest expressions: creativity, compassion, and courage. Let these guide you in your interactions and communications.

We each have the unique ability to choose empathy or animosity, to hold space for others even when we disagree. What will you choose? What will you do in the days ahead? 

How will you show up as the most intelligent human being you possibly can be?

How will you be the most creative, compassionate, and courageous human every day? 

Thank you for your time and thoughtful consideration of this article and message. I share what I write only when inspired to do so. Whether you agree or disagree, either way I hope my messages cause you to think more critically, feel more fully, and act more boldly.