If I told you the topic, you likely wouldn’t read this article…

Did I pique your curiosity?

Please forgive my blatant ploy to convince you to open and read this article.

I know from personal experience that once we share this topic, many people’s bodies and brains immediately send messages to move on, ignore, or avoid its content.

But it’s an extremely important topic.

Therefore, I’m going to attempt to discuss it without revealing the actual topic or title till the end!

Why would your body and brains resist reading this topic?

It all starts with survival.

Our primary purpose or objective is to survive as a species.

Which means when we encounter anything that triggers a survival reaction within us, we’ll often unconsciously move away from it.

What types of things does our body try to avoid or move away from?

Anything that has ever caused pain in the past.

Think about that for a moment.

From even before our birth, our bodies began forming neural connections to help us survive in the world.

Every instance of pain and discomfort registers as something to move away from, avoid, or resist.

• How many instances of pain and discomfort have you had in your life?

• How many of them occurred more than once or were similar but slightly different?

Alternately, every instance of love, comfort, and connection registers as something to move towards, receive, and maintain.

We intuitively know as a species we can’t survive on our own. We need our tribe and family to care for us. Which means we also recognize what we need to do to receive love, attention, and connection.

• How many instances of love or connection have created patterns in your life?

• How many patterns did you create to receive that love, approval, or connection?

In response to these experiences, our bodies and brains identified how best to protect us from that painful experience (at that unique point in time) or help us seek more of the pleasant ones in the future.

But it doesn’t mean we can avoid all painful experiences and only have pleasant ones.

If so, the first time a baby falls down when trying to walk they’d never walk again.

What happens when a baby falls?

• If they are in a loving and supportive family, they are encouraged to keep trying. “Come to mama” with smiles, praise, and affectionate rewards for success.

• But what if they are not in a supportive loving family? Research from orphanages has shown conclusively that without receiving attention, babies will stop crying. The long-term consequences of this lack of attention are significant even in the absence of concrete memories of the experience.

These past patterns became so natural to us that we rarely notice them. It’s just how we are being as unique human beings.

The more significant the painful experience, the more significant the impression or pattern that gets formed. Major surgeries, abuse, or other physical pain is then stored in the body (even when children have no conscious memory of it).

But it’s not limited to physical pain, emotional pain is just as significant. We now know from brain scans that the same parts of the brain that register physical pain also register emotional pain in the very same way.

Quite literally, emotional pain is perceived and processed by the brain the same as physical.

(Which is why we need to stop telling children words can’t hurt you. They absolutely can and just as seriously as if they were physically abused or assaulted.)

While some people form a pattern of protection quickly, others have to experience it a few times before they learn, and a pattern forms. 

How many patterns do we have?

You have as many neural patterns and pathways as there are stars in the sky. Estimates suggest there are quadrillions of possible neural pathways.

We have patterns for everything we think, feel, and do. These patterns allow us to operate without having to consciously think about everything we think, feel, and do in our lives. They also allow us to react instinctively to avoid pain or receive connection.

Categories of Patterns:

1. Motor Patterns: E.g., walking, writing, driving—encoded in the cerebellum and motor cortex.

2. Cognitive Patterns: E.g., problem-solving, decision-making—stored across the prefrontal cortex and other regions.

3. Emotional and Behavioral Patterns: E.g., fear responses, conflict avoidance—deeply embedded in the limbic system.

4. Relational Patterns: E.g., how we interact socially, form attachments, or handle relationships

By this point you are maybe starting to figure out the underlying topic of this article.

That we’re living lives largely influenced by these past patterns.

And many of these patterns are problematic for us.

They may cause us to react in ways we wish we didn’t, get stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn states, and have to repeat behaviors or situations we want to stop.

But stick with me, because there is so much hope in the human body!

Infinite Possibilities and Plasticity

We’ve now discovered humans have neural plasticity which basically means we can rewire any of those past patterns. We can learn new things and create new neural pathways throughout our entire lives.

Most people know about habit forming and using repetition to create new ways of thinking or doing things in their lives. This approach is hard, takes a long time, and often fails.

But there are better tools to support us in rewiring these past patterns to unlock new possibilities for us in the future.

In doing so, we unlock ourselves from being held by the patterns of our past.

We are then free to rewire new pathways for the future.

Reprocessing is essentially just allowing the brain to review the past through a present lens and release the stored imprints in lieu of updated and improved ones.

Once cleared, we are free to connect with our inner intelligences - neural networks in our head, heart, and gut, to create a wiser pattern for the future.

• Instead of reacting to failure with a feeling of being a defective human being, we can create a pathway that when failure occurs, learning is happening.

• Instead of fearing uncertainty, we can cultivate curiosity and openness to what’s possible.

• Instead of interpreting discomfort as a signal to retreat, we can embrace it as a sign that transformation is unfolding.

• Instead of trying to control everything, we can focus on mastering our responses and adapting with agility.

• Instead of letting stress dictate our actions, we can regulate our nervous system and respond with wisdom.

• Instead of seeing emotions as distractions, we can recognize them as data guiding our decisions and actions.

These new patterns are not just cognitive, they become embodied in our ways of being. But they can only do so if we’ve cleared the past pattern out first!

Reflection

• Do you have past patterns you’d like to rewire?

• How would it feel to be free from the painful experiences of your past that keep you trapped in cycles of struggle or stress?

• Would you like to become aware of patterns that are influencing you that you may not even notice?

• Would you like to eliminate the patterns and stuck stress stored in your body?

• Would you like to re-wire your neural pathways to serve your life better?

If so, the time is now! Taking this step is the first step on your journey to living a life of your own creation rather than one dictated by your past.

Conclusion

• What would you have titled this article?

• What topic do you think it was really about?

While it doesn’t really matter, I’ll tell you anyway since I said I would.

This article is really about how the traumas we’ve experienced, big and small, perpetuate our pain and keep us trapped in the past patterns created by them.

Every day we are unconsciously triggered by the traumas (big and small) of our past and present. We remain stuck repeating the same patterns of trigger, reaction, and repeat. If we want a different experience, we must re-wire our past patterns. But first, we must eliminate the root of the past pattern stored in our bodies.

I write about this solution often because I’ve been so shocked at how effective and quick it is at help me to clear past patterns so I can rewire them. The best solution I’ve found is EMDR Therapy. To learn more go visit ShiftChange.Life and you can get your first session free to experience it for yourself!